This morning, I woke up way too early, with stiff and hurting shoulders, and already exhausted, to begin with.....the last weeks have just been a bit too much. Mind you, I believe the hurting shoulders are a sign, that I am releasing the tension, and that I am finally moving back into letting go and letting God take over. His will not mine, be done, on earth as it is in Heaven - as hard that it seems at times.
My mind was running at 100'000 miles an hour - this morning at 6:19.....couldn't focus on anything - the only thing that seems to work these days, is prayer and some of the verses I repeat endlessly, when stressed out. They give me peace to a certain extend, but I knew, that I needed church this morning more than ever before - soak up the Hymns and His word. I just love the worship at my church - today was the Lord's Supper - how fitting......I got to lay all my burdens down, and know that Jesus died for me - that I am forgiven, and that I am clothed in His Righteousness before God. So grateful for that!!! So praising Him with my church family this morning lifted me up once more - I just love Him so much!!!
Afterwards we went for a walk in the woods - walks in the woods, are always perfect for me, to collect my thoughts and to pray........I lift it all up to Him, and from the sermon today, I know, that the enemy is trying to silence my voice, and make me believe the lies - my biggest issues right now are impatience and fear. Impatience with my kids - due to being pressed from all sides in my everyday life right now. Fear, that seems so hard to get rid of, because it's ingrained in my being since my childhood - fear of not measuring up. When I hear God speaking to me, I know, that I am loved and that I can trust Him.
Yesterday I read something, that really rendered me speechless: When the enemy is plotting your demise, the King, your Father in Heaven is planning your reward. That helped me to put several things back into perspective.....
On a physical level, I am just exhausted - my whole being just wants to slump, retreat and hibernate. Thankfully I know, that I can lean on Him, I don't have to slump and I don't have to endure the challenges and struggles in my own strength. He who has died for me, is standing in for me - I only have to be obedient to do what he asks me to do. I know, that lately I was tempted, to snatch back certain parts of my burdens, and burden myself with the How - and the trying to fix things on my own. Thankfully, I am reminded, not only through the word, but also through beautiful friends, that I don't have to pick that burden up again, and that this too shall pass.
Being purified and disciplined is never easy, but I know, that in these trials, God is strengthening me for the purpose He has for me. And thankfully I have Jesus, to whom I can give all my burdens and He will give me rest. And He will renew my strength!!!
So, my dear friends, let's keep pressing forward, and running the race, that is set before us - let's run to win it, and always remember, that He is planning the reward right now, even though we might fear, we're farther away than ever to receive the crown of Glory - trusting Him always!!!
In Christ Jesus - forever and ever
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