God has shown me today a deeper meaning of Patience.....than the one I knew up until today: He actually showed me, that patience is an act of active waiting - it's seeing the potential of a situation or person, and trusting God, to come through in this particular circumstance, that His Will will be done ultimately. Patience paired with Grace, that's what God is applying towards His Children. I am simply amazed at seeing it play out all around me. God is like the Father in the Story of the Prodigal Son - actively waiting for His Son (All of us) to return to Him.
Somehow, that's how I view the situation with my family - I know, God is in Control - and I know, that in His time, He will make all things beautiful - He has called me now, to actively wait for Him to fulfil His promise, to turn this thing around. As hard as it may be, I am willing to obey - as He is the Only One, who can bring this change about, since it needs a change of hearts - and that is His domain, not mine :)
But I know He will do it. It's JUST a matter of time!!! Yet, time it takes - fast forwarding to salvation isn't going to work. Every single family member will have to make the decision to follow Him.....as long as it takes - as much as I wish I could do it for them.....I have to accept the fact, that I can't. He's calling me, to leave it to Him alone.
When we are in this place of Grace (and that's How Jesus operates - He gives us Grace abundantly) we, like Jesus, see only the Good in those we encounter. Through partaking in the Grace of Christ, we are made whole in Christ - we reflect Jesus to those around us. And because His Grace has set us free, we are free from bondage forever. No need for guilt or shame anymore. That's why Jesus says in the Bible, that His Grace is sufficient for us - we need nothing and none else!!
Over the last year, Jesus has drastically changed my heart - lifted me up to this beautiful place of true Grace, seeing each and everyone of my original family from this place - I even see my ex-husband from this place of Grace - Hallelujah!!! The Thorn, that's remaining in my flesh now, is the relationship with my children.....there I still operate from a critical point of view.....I learnt to let go, and cast my fears and worries over to Him, but I don't seem to be able to see their potential and not their failures yet - honestly questioning why, as I don't understand.....I am not worried anymore, I have Faith, that God is in Control and that ultimately All will be well. I don't have to be super mom anymore, who has everything under control including her children....
Why is it then, that in this area, I still struggle.....I am lifting this question up to God, asking for His guidance to lead me where ever this maybe (maybe I am still harbouring unforgiveness in my heart, maybe bitterness, maybe pain....) whatever it is, I am sure, God will point it out to me, convict me and then He will show me, the missing link - bind my wounds, iniquities, pain, and shame - whatever is at the root of the challenge we face in our home to this day.
My prayer is, that God Almighty will change my heart once more, transform me to yet another level of Grace and Patience.....that I can be like Him, and see my children through His eyes, and forever bury this critical spirit, and in all circumstances operate from this wonderful place of True Grace. The Grace that I have received so generously from Him, who gave His life for me!!!
All in all, life has become this truly intriguing and interesting adventure, I never quite know, where He will lead me each day, but I can't wait to unwrap all that He has for me - including to face my iniquities head on, and let Him transform me day by day.....into His Likeness. I don't think, Life has ever been as exciting....., as it is today.
Gratefully yours :) - In the name of Christ
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