Old Wounds

My Father, who is in Heaven is at work in me permanently, to shape me into His likeness and the Person He created me to be - it's amazing, but He really never quits.


In our walk with the Lord, the thing that is the most vital, is, that we're honest with our deepest fears, worries, concerns and that we never hide things from The One, who made us - with me that is, that I am a very impatient person, and that I can get really irritated, if I have to wait for what ever it may be - in my relationship with my kids, I tend to loose it often because of this condition.....then I feel extremely bad about what happened..........Sunday was a really bad day for that, so on the way to the Movie Theatre, I prayed for  my God to help me with this very irritated me and the easily arising anger in me, when I am faced with my kids, not listening to me........... - mind you, I am wearing a bunch too many hats right now, being a 24/7 single mom, the nanny, the chauffeur, the mediator in a family situation..... - so I guess I simply feel overwhelmed and exhausted at times (this doesn't mean, I am not taking the responsibility for my actions, it just means, that I would probably fare better with this issue, if I didn't have to wear all these many hats - but then again, I believe, God is in this, so He really wants me to learn something through my present situation...)  - so on the way to the movies (we saw 'Beauty and the Beast in 3D' with friends), I prayed, for my Daddy in Heaven, to let me know, why I was reacting this way..... - this is what He showed me: 


1. Due to my Grandmother dying when I was 5 years, which came unexpectedly, I was extremely sad, that I didn't even have a chance to say good bye. That actually made me very very angry deep down in my heart......that is, because I never let Jesus bind up this wound.....Anger often is the reaction that is easier to access - maybe because it was more acceptable in your family setting - or maybe it just surfaced more easily, because the sadness was just too painful.


2. He really wants me to control my temper - yet with His love at the center of my heart, I am given the how to do it......letting Him tend to my wounds, and through me opening my heart to His Grace and His Love, I am changed more and more each day into His likeness. So now, I am giving my old wounds to Him, and Trust that He will come through for me again and help me to gain Self Control through the Guidance of the Holy Spirit.


In His Power I thoroughly trust with all my life. Thankfully things at home with my son have eased up quite a bit again - Praise God for His Faithfulness. I enjoy seeing my boy, to really openly smile and not have such an earnest face all the time anymore - I am continuously lifting him (both my kids for that matter) up to the Throne of God Almighty - trusting Him, that He is in Control and that what He intended for Good for us, will find us eventually. 


Therefore, all my wounds, as I become aware of them - through the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I bring them to the Cross, and leave them there! This is what He wants us to do: to give our burdens to Him - to experience true Peace, the Peace that surpasses all understanding.

I have it today - and I intend to keep it that way!!! Therefore, whenever He points me to a weakness in my character, I ask for deeper insight concerning this issue, and then, when He reveals the deeper issues around this weakness, I bring it to Him, to heal my heart of any pain, bitterness or insecurity that might lie at the root of the issue, and then walk in obedience to what He is calling me to do.....


These days, I don't have to wait a long time, until I hear that small voice.......praising my Holy Father for giving me this Gift of being able to discern His voice.....and for Him revealing Himself to me in such a wonderful way........and I am not saying that the road ahead will be easy, there will always be storms here on Earth.... - that's just the way life is down here, and it will always be like that, but when you know The One, who can calm the storms - hang onto Him and never let go of Him.


In Christ Jesus forever