October 2nd (late evening)
BANG!!!!!!!! Satan sure doesn't give up.......he's gotten me good tonight:
1. My brother is back and he wants his nanny, that helps me out @the moment, back - and
he thinks I didn't try hard enough, to find a new nanny.....little does he know!!!
2. I receive an e-mail saying that my son can't go back to school yet........
I broke down and cried - asking the Lord to take me home now........I can't endure all this hardship!!!! Always I am the one who has to face everything on my own...........................I can't do this - I am just not strong enough (worthy enough).......
Yet, my God is with me - he comes through again, in this deep valley of sorrow :
Isaiah 40: 1-2 "Comfort Comfort my people (me)," says your God.
"Speak tenderly to Jerusalem (me). Tell her, her sad days are over and her sins are pardoned. Yes, the Lord has punished her twice over for all her sins."
And: Isaiah 40:29-31 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired and young men will fall into exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord, will renew their strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
And: Psalm 119:25-32 I lie in the dust; revive me by your word. I told you my plans and you answered. Now teach me your decrees. Help me to understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds. I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word.
Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations. I cling to your laws. Lord don't let me be put to shame! I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding.
Yes and yes and yes!!!!! I cling to your word and your promises. Lord sustain me - fill me with your spirit in all the areas of my life - only when you dwell within me, can I handle all these storms that life throws at me. I know Lord, that you want me to simply stand - you are standing in for me and you are fighting the fight in the heavenly realm, where evil forces rage against you in me and in my son.......all I have to do is trust and remain standing!!!! Thank you Lord, once again for your Strength.....for only in your strength can I keep standing.
Your loving daughter forever yours!!!
October 3rd
Hello here I am again. Life is truly challenging at the moment, but I am not without hope. Rest assured of that. As difficult as it is at the moment, I have faith and I believe in the things unseen. The promises have been given to me regarding my son, and myself......and I choose not to loose hope. Yet it would be nice if I got a bit of a glimpse as of what is going to happen next. Yet, here is another verse, that echoes through my heart: "Be still and know that I am God"! He will provide the next step. I have to believe in that.
Constantly praying for my son and praying for his rebellious spirit to be channelled into something good - getting angry is not a sin (even Jesus got angry, it's how we deal with it. And if we direct if properly, it can actually bring changes for the better). Keeping his amazing abilities intact, that he will keep his mind soaring, but being less defiant and more obedient. Please Lord, change his heart - make him see the benefits of being compliant.
In you he is a new creation. Please help it to come to pass in the natural realm. Father, I trust you completely. Just be with me, when his dad gets here and he'll have to find out.
Lord, please be with him - I lift him up to your Throne...........bless him and help him on His journey. Reveal yourself to him, that he may personally see and hear you, that his heart may be open to sense your presence - that he knows for sure, that you are for real!!!
As for me and my house we'll follow you, Lord. I am surrendering all my ways to you. Just help me, by revealing the next steps, as they come available.
Yes, friends, that is what I can say @this stage......I will trust my God! He will deliver me from evil. He promised me yesterday that my sad days are over. Thank you Lord!!! Victory is to Jesus - one milestone in my faith is, that I dare to pick up the word and underline things that mean something to me. Trying to understand the meaning of it, I'd refer to my study bible......and I truly can do it own my own.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! God is good, All the time !!!! Yes!!!
My heart does hurt over all the things that my son has to live through.......even @such a young age........but with Christ we are strong and we can conquer the devil and what else will come our way, that tries to defeat us.
To God alone the Glory!!! He will see us through and he's already changed me greatly. Not that the work is done, but we go from Glory to Glory!!!
Love you all, and if anyone of you is feeling discouraged today, trust in His promise, that His plans for you are good.....plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. He will never leave you nor forsake you!!! Hang in there, He will deliver you - from all the things that hold you back to receive life more abundantly in Christ.
Your sister in Christ!
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